"Are you there God, it's me, Kim."
Do you remember me?
Ya, I am the one whose fallopian tubes are blocked by endometriosis, and whose left ovary is encrusted with the same junk.
Lately, I've really been wondering... "What is Normal?" "I just want to be normal!"
I bawled my eyes out two weeks ago when once again, my body failed me. I cried for two hours until my eyes were dry and sleep finally overcame me. I think that was somewhere around four in the morning. I remember being really tired that day.
I want to be normal. I want to be like all of the other happy little families taking up an entire row at church with their six kids.
I want to FILL up the car we bought a few months ago...really. Today as I was driving my car...it just felt, EMPTY.
For once, I would love to know what it is like when an adoption is successful. I want to know that the feelings I feel in the first instant that it is right...will stay the same until the end...when I am holding a baby.
Really, I just wish...right this second that all of my friends who are struggling with these same feelings and problems would know what it was like to have all of their hopes and dreams and wishes come true. Please help them. PLEASE.
Thanks God, when you have some time, let's chat.
P.S. I do want to thank you for my two beautiful children that you have blessed me and Hubbs with. They are our strength and our joy...
Also, thank you for adoption, for making it possible for some of my friends whose ovaries and fallopian tubes and sperm are bunk...because through adoption, they can be parents.
Don't forget us.