Saturday, November 1, 2008
Adoption Awareness Month
Did you know? November is Adoption Awareness Month.
In honor of this, I have pledged to post everyday for the month of November, something adoption related. If you haven't been sick of all the posting this past week...get ready! There is going to be A. Lot. Of. Posting...YAY!
So, to start off this wonderful month, I feel really strongly that I need to share with my friends who are currently adopting, and those who are still hoping to find their babies some of the feelings and experiences I felt while going through the process.
As you know, we have had three failed placements in our time in the adoption realm. While this is a very difficult thing to endure, there were many spiritual experiences along the way, that had I not followed my heart we would have never felt.
Firstly, I want to encourage each couple who has been chosen by a birth mother to:
Let. Your. Heart. Feel. It.
YES it is SCARY, yes there is always an unknown, but with each and every experience we have had with being chosen, there has come this wall that needs to be broken down, and you have to love and hope with all of your heart. From the moment you are chosen, that baby is YOURS...whether that be for a week, a month, or eternity. You need to change your heart to hope and love and joy for that baby, for that little spirit, for that birth mother. She has chosen you for a reason, and no matter how long she is in your life (and we are hoping it will be forever...although sometimes that doesn't happen...we still need to begin the process thinking she will be) she needs to feel your love for her. She needs to feel your trust in HER...that this decision she has made is an answer to your prayers and that you are EXCITED for this baby.
Secondly, after talking to a dear friend of mine who has two adopted children, she helped me to realize something very profound. She said that from the MOMENT they were chosen for both of their children, they let their hearts feel it...and even though there may have been moments of fear that, "this may not happen" they tried to hold those feelings at bay and have FAITH, and HOPE. She told me that she is so happy that they did this because now, when she sees her beautiful children, and when they ask her about their adoptions, she can HONESTLY say she loved them from the moment she knew they were coming. There was no fear...that they were her children.
Lastly, I know this may not make sense to all of you, and may sound strange coming from someone who has had so many failed placements and has yet to experience a successful adoption placement (but one that hopes to soon!)...I can honestly say that I loved these babies from the start. Even the "fake baby"...tee hee. Really. And I hold a very special place in my heart for the real babies that are being loved by different parents and different mothers than me. It was all part of a greater plan and a different plan for them, and for us.
Just remember to FEEL it...let your heart EMBRACE all of the feelings...and try to block out the FEAR and the SHOCK. It will work out. Our Father in Heaven is mindful of us. Sometimes it is the trial and the difficult time that bring us closer to Him!
Happy Adoption Awareness Month!