Monday, September 29, 2014


I am Brave and Beautiful - a beauty movement that is sweeping the globe. Colbie Caillat started it with her recent song and video called TRY. My blogging friend Megan of Brassy Apple wanted to push this movement along and invited women from all over to share what they looked like without make up and I joined in!! Colbie's song says, "Take your make up off. Let your hair down... Look into the mirror at yourself, Do you like you? Cause I like you... "
Megan and her friend Cobi of Peacefrom6pieces have been the team behind this whole project. Their worldwide vision included creating their own video inspired by the song TRY. The talent of Robbins Creative made it possible for them to pull it off. You have to click play and see the beauty and bravery displayed and you might even recognize a few faces in there.
I, along with 101+ other blogging women from different backgrounds, religions, ethnicities, ages, shapes and sizes have decided to be Brave and Beautiful! You can join in this movement too by sharing what you look like without makeup on. You don't need a blog either! Just tag your photo with #IamBraveAndBeautiful on Instgram and search the hashtag to see who else has joined in. ALSO, if you tag it with a second hashtag - #ColbieTRY we just might be able to get Colbie Caillat's attention since she was the inspiration behind it all!
Are you brave and beautiful? I am, here I go!
 Headshot from the talented D'Arcy Benincosa

Headshot by Lindsay Black

The day before the video shoot, I had photographed a wedding and I was very tired. I missed my kids, I wanted nothing more than to stay home and snuggle with them. Earlier in the week I had shared Megan and Cobi's project with my 8 year old daughter Emmaree. When I told Emm I probably wouldn't go to the video shoot, she did nothing but encourage me to go. "Mom! This is so important!" So, I went for her. I ended up having the most magical evening surrounded by friends and women whom I admire and look up to. I hope in some small way this project will show my daughters how beautiful and strong they are, especially in this world who would make them think and feel otherwise. I am grateful to be a small part of such a beautiful project.

share your natrual beauty -
Don't stop here. Get clicking around - its a blog hop! Below are more brave and beautiful women bearing more than their natural beauty. They each have a little bit of their heart to share with you. Some get very personal. Some share stories. For some this was very hard to do yet they gathered their courage and did it anyway. We hope as you click around (and YES pin these different posts!) you will feel the importance of it, the empowering effect it has and that it encourages you in some way.
>>>>>>>Important info! Blog Hops often have glitches the first day. If the link has an ERROR, simply click on the HOME button for each site, or google the blog name next to the link, and you should see their brave and beautiful post there. Links will be updated as soon as possible.<<<<<<<<<<<<
women sharing their natural beauty - no makeup
women with our makeup on and what makes them beautiful
women from around the world share their face with no makeup on -
Mommy bloggers share their face without makeup and what makes then beautiful
Natural beauty untouched photos
raw natural beauty - join the movement
beauty and bravery - women wearing no makeup -
#colbietry #iambraveandbeautiful
Ready in join in?Snap, hashtag and share! Tag @BrassyApple and @Peacefrom6Pieces if you can too!
Also follow our Bravery and Beauty PINTEREST board for more inspiration!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Feeling emotions.

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Sitting here, as it is nearing midnight, tears are filling my eyes, as I am feeling...emotions. I feel happy, and I feel sad, I can breath, but most importantly, I feel ALIVE. Feelings I do not think I have felt for nearly three years. It has been almost impossible to feel anything but tired, anxious and depressed. It wasn't until last Thursday that I finally discovered why. I was on the wrong antidepressant. As in, oh. so. very. wrong.

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Making the switch has been incredible. I am no longer sleeping almost all day, I am not eating every single feeling, and I can feel every range of emotions, both good and bad, and happy and sad and I am relishing in every single moment. I was able to go outside yesterday and ENJOY my family, I went shopping, on a bike ride and even tried to Rip Stick! Something I haven't been physically able to do. It was like there has been a wall around anything that I enjoyed. If I would sit down to work, leave the house to play with my family or blog, I would be attacked by anxiety, a virtual wall would surround my immediate self and I would freeze. The only place that felt safe was my bed. It has been awful. It has been so very sad.

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Inside my heart and mind I knew what was happening. It was as if I could see from the outside that I was frozen, and I screamed and yelled at this girl to get up and just do it. Be brave...but she couldn't. It was not until last week that I could finally move past the virtual walls around this girl and FREE her. I cry as I write this. I cannot fully tell you how much this change means to me. It is as if I have been dead for three years, and I have been given sweet life again! I am so so so thankful for the health problems that got me to finally go into my doctor and ask for a change. I am thankful my doctor was busy so that I could see a new doctor and she took the time to LISTEN to me, to hear my cries and to offer support in the form of a listening ear, and a willingness to FIX me...not just guess.

I have me back. With that comes ALL of me...even the blogging me. I am SO happy guys. I am SO excited to be back. I have so so so so so much to give, so many many stories to tell. Get ready.

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Friday, January 17, 2014

Dear Tanner,

You don't know me. In fact, you will probably go home and tell your mom and dad about the crazy lady that came into work today. You will probably laugh about me and tell your folks about how out of control my kids were (they were), but I will remember you as one of three people that helped me make it through today, because I needed your kindness more than ever before.

You see Tanner, what the lady standing behind me in line didn't know was that I was at your store to buy scriptures for my daughter who is turning 8 next week. What this lady did not know was that I let my kids run around so that the scriptures would still be a surprise for her on her special day. What she didn't know is that my kids have really long names and when you told me that the names were too long to be engraved on the cover, I almost cried right then and there, because what this huffy puffy lady didn't know is that I was having a really terrible day.

You see, I had to wake my daughter up at 8 a.m. after she had gone to bed at 2 a.m. See, she has never been a good sleeper, and unless she has some warm body to help her fall asleep, it won't happen, and last night it didn't happen. Camilla had an appointment with the doctor because she has been sick for two weeks. I had to sit with Camilla on the dirty bathroom floor at the doctor's office for two hours trying to get her to go to the bathroom in a cup. There was crying and weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, and a fair share from Camilla as well. What this lady didn't know is that there was a fear Camilla may have a serious problem (She doesn't thank heavens.) but at that moment as I was trying so hard to get her to go potty that is all I cared about was getting her last test done so we would know. See, I had to drive 30 minutes home just so that I could get half an ounce of pee between three bathroom trips just so that I could turn around and drive that tiny amount of pee 30 minutes back to the doctor's office where we spent another hour waiting for test results. Remember how Camilla had already woken early and had cried for 2 hours? This extra hour was almost more than she could bear.

After her appointment I had to go to the store to pick up a medication for Camilla. A medication that may or may not help her and her that took us another hour, in that hour she cried and screamed and was so tired that we almost didn't make it out alive, but somehow we did. At least the people in Target didn't look at me and glare at me the way the huffy puffy lady did. Walking into Deseret Book (a store for LDS members where they can buy spiritual clothing, books, scriptures, etc...) should have been a reprieve. I asked Jothan to watch my girls for me so that I could buy the scriptures really fast (and I was really fast!) before Emmaree noticed. But then this lady got behind me losing her shee because I was stumped on how to engrave my daughter's REALLY long name onto her scriptures. I really put this lady out so much that she decided to walk the 50 yards across the store to the other checkout.

Thanks for your patience with me Tanner. Especially after the lady left and the old man came in...and nearly scolded my children in front of my already tear filled eyes. When he put his hand out to stop my little girl from running after her sister, I lost it. What this man didn't know is that last week I had a miscarriage. Of course, how could he know that? No one knew, except very close friends, my husband. Not even my children knew why I was on bed rest for a handful of days. They wondered why I was crying all the time, of course, but I didn't want them to know, and I still don't want them to know, so please don't tell them Tanner. What this old man didn't know was that my testimony of the gospel has been shaken and stirred and tried the last three years more than my little heart can manage, and last week I was praying my brains out and hoping beyond hope that this baby wasn't gone, that somehow my faith and will would align with God's.

What this old man did not know is that sometimes the last place I want to be is somewhere that reminds me how far I feel from my Heavenly Father. What this man didn't know is that his actions made me really question why I would want to be associated with people like him and the huffy puffy lady before him. I am trying to remember though Tanner that it is not the people. It is never the is the gospel. Tanner, thanks for letting me check out as quickly as possible so that I could remove myself from the presence of this man as quickly as possible. Thank you for being so kind to me even after you probably heard my very upset phone call to my husband, distraught because the names wouldn't fit, and because huffy puffy and old man had treated me so unkindly. Thank you for pretending not to hear my overly loud swear words because the only people I wanted to hear them were huffy and old man.

Thanks for pretending I wasn't crying when I finally figured out the engraving and thank you for ignoring my sadness when you told me that the engraving would be an hour and that I would have to come back later and that I would have to drive 40 minutes back to pick up the books because, as you know Tanner, my kids were losing it, and so was I.

I appreciate you.

Much Love,


P.S. Tanner, after I left your station, I decided to go upstairs and peruse the fabric (with my crazy kids) and your other co-worker was so so nice to me and laughed and giggled at my story of the horrible customers. Tanner, you will NEVER believe that after I spent 5 minutes upstairs and headed out to my car, who was parked next to me! Blue shirted huffy puffy was to my immediate right and old man was parked in front of me. We all left the store at the same exact moment. I cannot believe that my children ruined their day so much, and they were in such a hurry that somehow we all made it out at the same time.