Monday, January 12, 2009

School Daze

This shall be the first of a small series of posts I shall entitle "School Daze".

As I prepare to send my first born off into the land of curious lunch cuisine and first crushes, my mind is brought back to those long ago days of grade school. At the same time as J-Man is introduced to such woes, I have a little sister entering Jr. High, and another entering High School. So in honor of their preparation and mortification, I will share with you some of the worst moments I had in school.

Laugh with me, more importantly CRY with me...because as my friend put it after I told her this first story, "It has not been long enough, these wounds are still too fresh."
Oh how I pray I do not lose thee...oh faithful readers.

Or as my other friend put it, "Dood that is HILARIOUS."


The setting: 15 years ago. If you do the math, we are talking sixth grade. I had a crush on, oh we'll call him "CK". I sat at the same table with CK as well as one of THE most popular girls in the sixth grade--Jenna. I was either lucky or doomed. I prefer the term "doomed".

My family had just moved into a new home, landing me into this new found hell of a place...and in sixth grade no less. When I should have been "ruling the school" I was instead trying to make it through each and every day. No easy feat where I went to school. It was grade A ghettosville USA.

So there was this one day in Spring. I was sitting at the table after running around all recess long...and you know when you run sometimes you get cloggy in nasal region. Well, as the secretions dried, it caused me the most unbelievable mass to ever grace one's nose. I was sitting there with CK to my left nose in a book (as per usual) and Jenna was also reading. So, I thought quickly that if I hurried and dug out the one would see...and I would be freed of my burden. I must act quickly. I only hesitated for a moment...dig...grab...swoop...into the mouth. Yes. I just admitted to the entire world that I ate my boogs until I was in sixth grade. Back to the story.

Once I commenced the "swoop" of my plot, that is where I neglected that behind the dried mass may lie a long string of...well you know...undried mass. So the big menace took with it all of it's relatives leaving a trail from my nose to I know I am kind of dry heaving as I relive it.

This is not the worst of it. As I was mortified that such a situation had occured, and that my plan had not been fully executed with the grace I had so fully thought it should...who is it that was there to witness the entire event?

Was it CK?

Thankfully, no.

Was it Jenna?

Yes. Yes it was.


One of THE most popular girls in school just saw me PICK my nose and EAT it. Death. What was I to do? She sat staring at me. I was still cleaning off the mess. And what is it you suppose she said to me?

"It's okay Kim. I used to eat my boogers too, I won't tell anyone."

I am CERTAIN I was three shades of red, nevermind the green tracing my nose and lips. I can tell you one thing...that day cured me of ever wanting to eat a booger ever...EVER again.

That day could have been very, very different. Jenna and I became very good friends, I can't say because of the booger incident...but friends nonetheless. It was really good for my self-esteem.

As far as eating boogers, in case you are all sitting at your computers reaching for your garbage can to hurl along, you may think twice the next time you grab for a tissue.

I rest my case.

School is hell. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise.


Leisha said...

I know you just told me this story but it is even funnier reading it. I am seriously laughing my gutts out. Tears. . .of laughter. So funny. I think we have all at one point or another "dug out the menace." Thanks for the laugh.

Amy and Josh said...

Too funny. I was on edge the whole time, and felt mortified with you!

School was awful...especially that jr. high thing. I think I'd take anything over experiencing that again...blah!

love ya

dust and kam said...

I just gagged. I mean I know that we all did it once upon a time, but now, it makes me want to hurl.

What a story Kim! Thanks for sharing... I think.

Amy said...

6th grade sucks. I remember on the second day at a brand new school, I split my pants open and didn't know until school let out. Leggings? Not a good idea.

Britney said...

HIL-AR-I-OUS!! Love it!

Heather said...

OH kim, you are so eloquent. Love it!

Cassie said...

Holy shiz that is hilarious. I happen to know of a certain FIL that picked and ate during a certain SIL's temple recommend interview... So not as entertaining as your walk down memory lane though. Hilarious.

ec said...


gotta be honest ... thought it was going to turn out a lot worse. you were one lucky little gal;)

Trinbean said...

I so agree school is HELL....I don't even like to think about it!!!! It never existed in my mind...:) kidding but there are horrible memories!!! Thanks for being brave and sharing!!!

moosh in indy. said...

It's okay Kim, I used to eat my boogers too. I'll just laugh at you and remind you of this constantly.

Heather said...

OH MY!!! LOL!!

I love you girl!! Thanks for making me smile and get a good laugh!! Glad to be laughing with you not about you!!

Holly said...

Wow, thank goodness the most popular girl also wasn't the most evil girl!

Amanda said...

I swear, everytime I come to your blog I leave with a little smile on my face from something I've read....BTW Happy Birthday. What a sucky friend I am!

Carrie said...

Ew! I was seriously eating while I was reading your post and then I came to the part where you ate your BOOGERS! Lost the appetite! I never was the nose picking type. Never wanted to know what it tasted like. But I think I'm the minority! LOL!

Brave brave Kim! You rawk for telling one of your really embarassing moments to blogworld!

The Gag-nears said...

I don't understand what was embarrasing about this story. Is eating your boogers really bad? Maybe that is why I am so healthy!!! ;)

mommyoffour said...

Wow. So very funny and so very icky!!! :) You are awesome! What a brave girl to tell this to all of the world. That is why I love you! :)