This is a post about confessions. It is not a post I want to be writing, but have had it going through my mind for the past few weeks, and it is one that I must write.
Remember how I have been training for the half marathon?I haven't been blogging about it much, because, well
I am a schlub. While I have been training and running in the bitter cold, and battling illness,
and a few weeks being unable to train because of it, I have pushed through it.
The problem I am having right now though?
Tendonitis. Like Tendonitis on steroids.
It is bad.
I described it earlier like walking on razor blades.
When I run for more than three miles I literally cannot walk for DAYS.
I feel like I am 90 years old and I can honestly not walk faster than
the older ladies at the gym on these days.
My workouts have been really rough on me, I walk a lot when I
should be running.
Because of these things, and my husband
noticing we discussed the
possibility of me not running the half.
When I put it out to the world, I got a handful of e-mails telling me
I must do it!
That I am inspiring (thank you) and that regardless of my decision,
I would be supported either way.
Well, I have decided that I will do it. I cry when I think about all the miles I have put in already, I just can't NOT do it.
I just won't run or train the three days this week...and hope and pray for the best on Saturday.
Oh please...pray for my feet.Part of me knows the reasons why I have had SUCH a hard time.
Here is a picture of me shortly before the last time I ran a half:
Yes, that is my bestie Casey...if you haven't met her yet you MUST at the CBC in May. I am
too prideful to show you a picture of what I look like
now.
I love this picture. That girl on the left was in a MUCH better place.
Well, sort of.
Mentally she was dealing with a lot of shee, but physically she was
30lbs lighter than I am right now.
did I just admit that out loud?I know that is why I am struggling.
My body hates me. I am really struggling to shed any weight since having Millz, and that is not helping me mentally with this race...let alone physically.
If any of you are runners, then you know that the mental part of running is JUST as,
if not more important than the physical aspect.
The past two years were
really hard. Things are SO good now.
I hope that sharing this small part of me will give me the courage to continue on my road to losing this extra weight I have hanging on me, so the next time I run a half...
I will be much better prepared for it.
Love you guys, thank you for continually inspiring me!
I CAN do hard things, and I will!
(totally going to buy myself that necklace when I cross the finish line.)After the race, let's talk about what will happen when I shed 40 of those
30 extra pounds shall we?
See you at the finish line.