Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Freaking INSOMNIA...and that one post I promised.


It is three in the fracking morning.

I cannot sleep.
Perhaps it was the four miles I ran in the ffffreezing cold today.

Perhaps it was the chocolate I HAD to eat before my first attempt at going to bed.
(I totally knew better.)

Perhaps it is because there are SO many things I want to do with my family, my photography, my life...
that my head
just! won't! stop!

I knew I should have taken that Tylenol P.M. at midnight. If I had I would be blissfully sleeping right now. Speaking of Tylenol...do you guys want to send me to Blogher '10?!
I am totally looking high and low for someone to sponsor my trip...huh?! Would you???
E-mail me.
(This is an entirely different post altogether. I am not kidding either.)

Okay...onto other things.

Shall we discuss the 'trial of the year', or in our hopes the 'trial of the decade' in hopes we don't E-V-E-R have to go through something so silly EVER again?

Somehow I deleted the email from Hubbs that had all of the deets.
I will try to recall them from my own memory as I laughed my head off as each event occurred (while secretly being terrified for him.)
*Please note, names have been changed to protect the innocent, er the crazy...and everything is via my own account, Hubbs has nothing to do with this post. Hold me accountable for every single word.

So Hubbs had this client who was selling HIS house.
Meaning, the client was
the. only. one. on. the. freaking. title. to. the. house.

Hubbs is an amazing man, I tell you what! He works SO hard at EVERTHING he does, it is incredible. With the economy all slumpy, he has put forth extra effort to make sure he goes the extra EXTRA mile in his work. This means in church, school, and his real estate. ESPECIALLY his real estate.
I think anyone who has worked with him can attest to such.
He amazes me.

Anyway, back to this client, we will call him Jorge*. Jorge had his house listed FOR FREAKING ever. Even before the housing market hit the slopes. Hubbs plugged along with refusal to lower the selling price, on the market, off the market, and so on and so forth. Jorge happened to work out of town A LOT and was NEVER home to make sure the house was in order and ready to be shown. The other problem? Jorge's mom. We will call her Mama* a.k.a 'the debil' yes the deBil. I like it like that.

Mama lived in Jorge's house. Mama was crazy. As in certifiably crazy. She refused to let anyone in the house. ANYONE. She was certain that people coming to see the house were going to take her things (understandable...but let's be honest there was probably nothing worth taking). She did her best to make sure the house would. not. sell. The only times the house was able to be shown was if Jorge happened to be in town.

On a number of occasions Hubbs would stop by the house, and Mama would attack him verbally with all sorts of interesting phrases. Once this home hit the 1+ year on the market and it went under contract despite Mama and her attempts to sabotage such...she became 'evil, wicked, mean and nasty' to the tenth power.

One day in particular Hubbs went to meet with Jorge to sign papers or something, and Mama had ruined his brand new lock box...she had spray painted it...trying desperately to make it unusable so that no one would have further access to HER house.

While Hubbs was there she took a brick to said box and began pummeling it...Hubbs tried to convince her to stop and then said brick was then thrown into Hubbs direction.
Luckily for Hubbs and his glasses, Mama was a poor shot.
When said brick neglected to connect with Hubbs, Crazy Mama grabbed a water bottle and ran across the lawn and slapped Hubbs in the face with said water bottle.
That is when Jorge tackled Mama to the ground.

Now, do you see where this is going?
Hubbs probably should have gone to the police.
Hubbs is SO nice he did nothing of the sort.
He just talked to Jorge, went about his job and healed from this attempted head smashing.

Me? Well I had no idea ANY of this was going on.
Hubbs never let me in on it until...

Daaaaaa daaaaaa daaaaa....

(Commence scary, theatrical music.)

The day the new owners were suppose to move in, and Crazy Mama
had barricaded herself into 'HER' house.
Long story short, and several hours later
(on J-dawgs birthday I might add...thanks for ruining an important day for us Crazy Lady.) after the police were called in to take her from the premises...she finally had the choice to go to jail, or to go home with another of her son's.
She finally chose to go with her other son.
Sadly, at this point no one wanted to take care of her.
Very sad actually.

...one month after the closing we get a knock on our door late one night.

A man.
Serving us with papers.

Crazy Mama was suing Hubbs for $10,000.

I felt faint, a little dizzy, and a little more than absolutely clueless as to why.

I paced back and forth, I couldn't sleep that night.
Then Hubbs begins to tell me all about these stories, in more detail.

Two months pass and trial day comes.
Luckily we were 90% sure that this lady had no case.
But still in the back of our minds we were really scared at what could possibly happen to our little family if she won.

She didn't win.
Poor thing.
Even after attempted mediation, she still went before the judge...and he still ruled in our favor.

Well, after the trial, he and his broker and his broker's wife sat in the courtroom and talked for three hours to this Crazy Mama...who was basically homeless and living in her car.
They talked about ways to help her try to find a place to live.\



That was two weeks ago.

Even today Hubbs was on the phone trying to track her down.
No one can find her.
Her sons won't answer their phones, nor return messages from Hubbs or the broker.
Hubb's broker is also trying to find her to no avail.
It is so sweet, words cannot express my love for my sweet husband
and all he is doing for this woman.

My point?

I am thankful that we won and did not have to shell out 10k to Mama.

I am thankful I married such an amazing guy.

And if you need to sell your home or buy a new home,
he is your guy.

Just promise not to throw any bricks at him please.
I kind of really like his face the way it is.


Laura said...

What was her claim against him?

Manda Jane Clawson said...

Oh my gosh! The DEBIL is a perfect name for crazy mama! I'm so glad that things worked out for you guys and that she didn't hit him. WOW! Seriously he is a much bigger person than me, I would have FREAKED out on her lol

Cassie said...

Bricks? The crazy lady actually threw a brick at him!?! Poor Flav. He really is a saint. Glad that's over for you guys.

Amy and Josh said...

no joke, but I thought you were takling about our land lady six years ago for a second-soudns like her and same situation.
She actually past away a month ago, and I don't even think there was a funeral service:(

That is a crazy story Kim. Crazy! Flavio is a very patient man.

Andrea Campbell said...

Wow! What a mess! Glad you all came through it okay.

Melissa said...

All I got is WOW!!!!!

Holly said...

Patient is definitely a good word to describe him. I'm glad too that she was a poor shot. Yikes. This reminds me of the crazy lady we sold our house too. She too tried to sue us the but the mediator was very good and managed to soothe her down to just taking some money from us (which was well within what we could afford) in exchange for waiving her rights to ever speak to us again - even if the entire house sank into the ground the next day. Totally worth every penny. These kinds of people can scare anyone out of real estate. Flav is a good guy.

LoveYaMissYa said...

OH MY GOODNESS! Had it been anyone other than Flavio Mama would have been in jail long ago! What an awesome man you have there. And then to try and help her... wow. Someone's getting extra blessing for that!

Lechelle said...

Hilarious. Not so funny when you are in it I bet. But totally hilarious to read about it.

You have a good man.

mandee said...

AHHH! Flavio has got to stop being so nice! It is really going to get him in trouble! LOL! I can give him some meanie lessons! Too much stress is not worth it!!

Katie said...

That is totally crazy! Mama's lucky she didn't come in contact with you after she tried to hurt Hubbs. Seriously what a freakshow!

marisa said...

If I didn't know better, I would say that you are a pathological liar. The stories you have....man!

Ashley Nicole said...

That is so sad... and so funny at the same time. Tell Flavio we are super sorry he had to take such a beating on this one and that we are secretly happy we are not the worst real estate adventure he has had to date.

Becky Rose said...

You are right- you do have an awesome husband!

Kim . . . wyomingmade said...

Well, I understand the three am blog posting. What would we do without blogs at this precious hour?

But this story. Wow! What a real man, what a hero, what a good guy! Thanks for sharing.

Mary said...

Reading about Crazy Mama cracked me up! Your husband is such a good sport.