Tuesday, March 24, 2009

One Year, and Miracles

Bear with me, this will be a long post...

I am not sure why, but even as I sit here, vomitous chunks arise in my throat.

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It has been one year since we lost our last baby. One year since my family almost lost me.

I am trembling just even thinking about it. I don't want to think about it.
I don't want to relive it.

For those of you new here, if you don't know the story, you can read all about it here.

How do you move on from something so terrible?

Well, somehow you do. You take it one day at a time, and as I look over to the right of my computer, you can also take it one hole in the wall at a time like I did. You can drop the f-bomb a million times a day, and cry your eyes out until they bleed because they are so tired from crying.

Then you get up, dust yourself off, and try again. Or in our case, try multiple times again and again and get burned...but that is another post for another day.

We miss Peanut. We miss the little spirit that might have been. We think about him/her often. How close we were to finding out what we were having. What joy we had in anticipation. What sadness we felt.

It is common consensus around here that Peanut was/is a boy. So from now on we refer to Peanut as such. This makes J-dawg thrilled because he knows someday he will have a little brother.

(He, on his own accord brings this up regularly. As he was old enough to know and understand when the loss occurred.)

We think of 2008 as a great growing and learning experience here at our house.

We are thankful to have had LJ in our home during this time, even though at the time I wasn't sure why he would come the day before such tragedy would strike our home and our heart. I am not sure why weeks later we would be chosen to be scammed by a "birth mother". Why two months later we would be chosen by another birth mother, only to feel so good and confirming about that situation, to have it fall apart just as quickly. All I know is that, all of these things have been for our good. They have strengthened us, made us quicker to love, less likely to judge, and more ready to help those who are struggling through similar circumstances.

My heart is full.

I can't believe I can sit here and write that after a year.

A heart that was so broken and empty and angry can write that it is now full. Do I have all of the answers to "Why?" no. Do I wish that we hadn't had to endure what we did? I can honestly say now, that no. I am glad we did, for it made us stronger.

Early last fall after I bawled for 45 minutes on the phone to one of my best friends as I travelled to vacation with my family, I realized I had reached my breaking point.

It was around this same time that Hubbs and I decided (maybe more "I" decided...not sure) that if nothing happened for our little family's growth by December of 2008
we were going to throw in the fertility towel, throw in the adoption towel, and
move on with our lives.

Those five months were torture to my soul. One of my good friends asked me, "If this is so hard for you, why are you giving yourself a deadline?" The only answer I could come up with is that I needed to move on from this era of my life, my children needed their mother back, not the crazy shell of a woman that had replaced her. For three years we had been trying to get another child into our home...enough was enough wasn't it? So while it killed me to do it, I knew it was the answer...and in some ways I looked forward to the new year, to our little family, just us, to a new beginning.

Well, let me stop here for a moment and introduce you to someone.

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Meet Millz

She is a little shy, this being her first "public" blog post and all.

She has heard that whenever her mom posts exciting news to her blog something tragic happens. She has reassured me a thousand times that this time will be different. But even as I tell you this, I feel like running into the other room to throw up (and that has nothing to do with being pregnant). She even assures me that I will get to wrap her up in the new blankets she HAD to have from Target (she is starting already), and that she can't wait to share a room with her big sister. She is also looking forward to the "rubberband gun lesson" that J-Dawg promised to give her when she gets bigger. I am holding on to her faith because I think she is closer to the Big Guy right now than I could ever be. :)

Heavenly Father works in a mysterious way. I don't suggest you give him a deadline, because just as you start getting comfortable with the way your new life will be, he will throw you a curve ball. A miraculous, beautiful curve ball, good thing I am good at bat.

We found out in December (can you believe it?) that this sweet baby would be joining our family.

We told no one.

I don't think we even told ourselves. Hubbs and I just walked around the house like, "Word." and "Holla." And that was that.

Why?

Well, because for the first three months there was intermittent bleeding and spotting. If I had a session, it was the death of me, I would bleed for days. At first I didn't even believe I was pregnant because well, Aunt Flow came to visit a few days early. I even blogged about being THANKFUL that she had. So silly of me.

I spent the first four months on the couch. SICK...SICK...SICK...and worried that if I did "too much" I would lose this baby too. I was so so so afraid to hope.

When I saw the doctor at 8 weeks, I saw the heartbeat via ultrasound. Even that didn't suffice. We told our kiddos at week 17. We finally told family around week 18. We had our ultrasound at week 20.

I am now at week 22.

You would think that I would be feeling better about things. I am faithful, I am extremely hopeful. I can't imagine that this would end badly as well. Would I be broken and lost if it did? Probably for a time. Would I eventually move on and learn? Most definitely. For now, I am taking it one day at a time. We, as a family are taking it one day at a time. It is maddening. It is hard to function, to just let go and let what will be, BE...but I can't. So each day is spent in agonizing worry, worry until I feel her move, worry until I see the doctor again. I wish it wasn't so. For this reason I didn't want to blog about it. But tonight, as I thought about Peanut, as I thought about all of the other babies that were to have been, I think how happy and excited I was for each and every one of them, and how this sweet girl deserves that too. She deserves to hear the happiness and congratulations from my friends. She deserves to be welcomed and wished for and hoped for.

Despite my heart.

My crazy, crazy heart.

This is our last shot. We found out at our ultrasound that I may be having surgery shortly after the baby is born (she is due July 30). They found a cystic tumor on my right ovary that they are watching and will remove after she makes her arrival. We will let you know more when we know more. This has shaken me a bit. Not sure what to think...I may end up "wombless" by the end of the year. Tee hee...one can only hope to not have periods ever again. I have a great doctor. I have a great Hubband. We are in good hands all around. We are in the Master's Hands.

With great trial cometh the blessings.

We are counting ours each and every day.

92 comments:

Jessica Kettle said...

wait, what? WHAT???!! REALLY???!!!?!! Oh I was so so so so so excited to read this post. I was getting all ready to support the whole moving on thing and then SURPRISE!! and what a BEAUTIFUL surpise. I seriously can't tell you how happy I am for your little (soon to be medium sized) family. hooray!!! ENJOY it girl.

YOU DESERVE iT.

Ashley said...

okay, starting off my day by crying for joy for you and your family.

a million hugs, a billion shouts of joy and a big fat congratulations.

she's beautiful.

Miss Myra said...

Make me cry like an idiot at work...(and u know where I work) im so happy for u and pray for u frequently. When I think of u and millz it makes me giggle and gives me hope for the rest of us that so fervently have righteous desires that aren't being fulfilled on our personal time line. I feel so privileged to have been around during some of those hard times, to learn from you, to see you shine, to feel your strength and power. I love u kimmie. Go milkduds.

Marty said...

Congrats!!!!

Cassie said...

Beautiful... I love you.

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

oh em gee kim!! I could not be more excited for one person to be prego! congrats, oh how fun, and the Lord loves you! =) you so deserve this after last year, you really do!

michiganbliss said...

4 REAL!?! Wow. Soooo happy and excited for you. What a blessing!! Congrats. CONGRATS. congrats!!!

Katie said...

It's so weird how I can be so happy for you and not even know you! I found your blog last year right after I miscarried and I felt like I was going through the same things you were (although your situation was much worse), but your words helped me get through my hard times and I appreciate you for that. I am now 37 weeks pregnant and due April 15th (I miscarried April 14th of last year...sometimes I hope this baby comes on the 14th so that day will never be a sad one again).

Congrats! And thanks for making me cry first thing in the morning:).

Candise said...

Happy Day! Congratulations; you deserve the very, very best! Just keep feeding her those Cadbury eggs and she will be your sweetest one yet! Enjoy every moment. I'll look forward to hearing all the little details. Again, Congrats!

Erin said...

Oh yeah! I can't believe you kept it a secret for so long-but I do understand why. Now you just sit back, eat lots of chocolate and let that baby marinate. Congrats!

moosh in indy. said...

I'm still laughing and shaking my head you beautiful person you.
And way to score a girl for your last hurrah!
The world needs more memms.

rpatrickphotography said...

Congratulations Kim!!! What an amazing blessing after all you have been through!!! You're right, GOD throws you a curveball when you least expect it!

Andee said...

oh my gosh!!! I can't even begin to tell you how incredibley excited I am for you!! I don't really know you either, but I am just crying of so much excitement right now!!
so, I just woke up. My face is swollen from getting my wisdom teeth out and I was feeling quite depressed because of the pain I was in. Then when I opened up this post and started reading...oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I started bawling (and not because I was in pain).
Congratulations times 100000000!!!!!!
Dude, just sit back,relax and enjoy the moment! you're having a girl!!!

Jen said...

ok had I not known how that post was going to end I would be having a total sob fest right now - at work no less. I'm so happy for you!

Josh and Anna said...

I am so so delighted for you Kim! This is so wonderful. Congratulations a million times!

Kristin.... said...

I came over via a Tweet by Casey. Congratulations! What a wonderful, wonderful event.

Olivia Singleton said...

This post definitely took an unexpected turn. A very beautiful and exciting turn. Congratulations, Kim. The safety and health of your sweet Millz will be in my prayers.

Stacy Quarty said...

Just heard about your pregnancy on Twitter. Congrats! If you want a free copy of my book, Frankly Pregnant, email me your address. stacy@franklypregnant.com

Lace said...

Yeay! So fun to see pictures of little miss Millz!!! She looks photogenic already! We are so excited for your cute family!

marci helen said...

awe...i love happy news in the morning!! congratulations! you make such beautiful babies!

Suey said...

KIM!! I am so happy for you!! This is Great news! Thanks for sharing.

Lace said...

(oh hey marce!) ps. There is no doubt that she is a GIRL! I have never seen such a clear picture! Amazing! Congrats again!!! :)

Erika said...

I found you through mooshinindy over on Twitter. Congratulations, and best wishes for the next 18 weeks! I'm so glad for this blessing!

Crystalyn said...

yay kim! so happy to read it. can't wait to meet her.

Janay said...

I am bawling like crazy for you girl!! Happy bawling!! COngratulations. You deserve her in EVERY way. Thinking of you daily!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Arianne said...

HOLY CRAP, THT IS ALL I CAN SAY IS HOLY CRAP!!! KIM I AM SOOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR YOU! SOOOO HAPPY!!!! yeah! i think 2009 is a GREAT year so far!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!

dust and kam said...

Oh my! How exciting! I am so happy for you and your cute, cute fam! Yay!! What exciting news!! :) The best ever.

ec said...

no way! that is so freakin' exciting. i can't believe this news. i am so thrilled for you and your family! and a girl. lucky little emms.

congrats, congrats, congrats!

Brenley said...

no one deserves this more than YOU! congrats, congrats, congrats!

RaeAnn said...

Kim, it's your blog twin in boise. So freaking excited. At a loss for words, but not emotion! I love your thoughts on how this baby enjoys your excitement too! I have a feeling she won't be wanting for a single thing!! Congrats. and Holla, or as we say in our house, Maholla.

Mandee said...

I am so happy for you! So, so, so happy! We need to celebrate! Love ya!

Adventures in Baby Fat said...

I am bawling my eyes out right now. Congratulations over and over. If anyone has ever worked so hard and done so much to welcome another beautiful person into their family it's you. I am so happy for you!!!!

Amy and Josh said...

SO Happy for you Kim! That is Great News. I Have been Quietly Praying and Hoping you and your family would be blessed with a baby again.

So Exciting, Amazing, Happy. Just So Everything for You Lady. Love you.

Andrea said...

Absolutely divine! Thanks for sharing the great news.

Ron and Jessica said...

That's just the best news I've heard all day!!!!

Do you think it's too early to start planning the ZJ-MILLZ wedding?

me said...

Oh gosh...i am BAWLING!! So over the moon thrilled for you and your family!!!! What fabulous news!!!!

Carrie said...

Oh Kim! I'm seriously OVERjoyed for you and your fam! A GIRL! SQUEEEEL! I only wish that I could have returned the favor and come over to help you out when you were sick! :( Anything I can do now for you, you let me know!! I can't wait to meet your new little princess!

Heather said...

KIM!!! I have chills and I'm crying. Oh my gosh, this is a MIRACLE! I have the biggest smile on my face for your family. I am gonna send you the BIGGEST baby gift!!!

Tons of hugs and kisses.

Heather said...

Also, I have to laugh - she's not shy, she's got her legs wiiiiide open! LOL!

Leisha said...

Such fabulous news to come to your blog and find :-) I love you lady and Millz. I can't wait to love and hug on her in person. She is definitely a long awaited miracle.

moosh in indy. said...

I'm just here to laugh at Heather Spohr's comment.

Tim and Ashlee said...

Oh wow! What amazing news! I'm so happy for you. A little girl! Yipee!

Tristy said...

I am seriously sitting her at my computer bawling! What an amazing story! You are such an example of strength and faith. I am so happy for you and I pray that all goes well. If you need anything I am not too far just give me a call. Love ya!

Britney said...

Happy day! Lucky little Millz! I'm so happy she's gone "public" - like all the way public".

Jed and Kate said...

KIM!!!!! I cannot even tell you how incredibly happy reading this news today has made me! CONGRATULATIONS is just not even close to cutting it right now. I am speechless I tell you...
-Kate

blair said...

OOOH MYHECK ! YAYAYAYAYYAY! CONGRATS!!!

Holly said...

I am so happy for you. I'm going to look pretty dumb walking around with crossed fingers and toes until July but I'll do it! Love you!!!

Mrs. P said...

WOW. I have to de-lurk to say congrats to you and your family. Even though i have never met you (and never commented) i cried happy tears for you when i read this.

I had a feeling a miracle was going to come your way...

Congrats once again :)

Jen

zandor said...

Oh wow. That's awesome and amazing and great. Congratulations.

Shannon said...

Oh Kim, you deserve all this happiness. You are so strong. The world has alot to learn from you. I am so happy for you! CONGRATS!

Shan said...

Holy Crow Kimmie! That is amazing, and I am so happy for you. So dude, we must do at exactly the same time???!!! I am 22 weeks too, and oh so grateful all is well too. It helps to think that all that time I was puking my guts out, so was someone else :) hee hee. So so happy for you. Wanna take hypno-birthing classes together ?? :)

marisa said...

What a miracle, I'm so happy for yoU!!!!

ls said...

oh! so, SO, so happy for you, kim. truly, my heart and eyes are full for you and your sweet growing family. what a blessing.

Katie said...

There are no words...congratulations will have to do! I am SO happy for you guys and especially for that precious little spirit who's lucky enough to come to you guys. You give me hope! Big loves to you all!

Christie said...

Hi, you don't know me, but I found you through another blog and I read your story about you losing your previous baby. I went through something similar. I was around 16 weeks as well and I was able to deliver the baby vaginally. We got to spend some time with him and we named him Gibson and he is our little angel. 4 months later I got pregnant with our sweetie Lily and she is now 6 months old. I couldn't help but think about those feelings and fears I had the WHOLE 9 months with Lily. I know how scary it is to think that you could possibly lose another baby. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to bring my baby home and hold her. You will make it and she will be beautiful and you will hold her and love her even more because you know what it feels like to not hold that baby. I wish you luck and know that you're not alone and that Heavenly Father always loves you. Congratulations on the pregnancy!

Christal said...

oh my heck I am SO ,so so HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS!!!! I CAN'T believe your due in july oh my!! Praying here on out that all goes wonderful you are the best mom ever what a lucky little baby!!! CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN!!! AWWW KIM!!!!

Sara said...

WOW WOW WOW. I've never commented on your blog before but just saw a link to this post on the r house and had to come over. I am so happy for your family and will keep you in our prayers. Congratulations - allow yourself to be joyful about this :)

Brittney & Morgan said...

Congratulations!

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh I am so happy for you! How exciting. I am thinking and praying for you for the next 18 weeks and beyond.

cannon said...

Congratulations! I am amazed again and again @ the way the Lord works in our lives. Even though hard times can be dark, we are so much better after getting through it. Life is worth it, so many blessings!

Anna said...

A Girl!!!! I am so happy for you,more happy for Ems she needs a little sister. I had no Idea you are having a girl, Marcus didn't tell me, It slipped his mind he says. I am so freaking happy for you guys!Can't wait to finally see the little Angel.

Wendy said...

Congratulations! SO excited for you guys! You had such a rough year what an amazing way to end a crazy year! Now you definitely need to come to my house so we can catch up (and talk the next door neighbors into letting you buy their house!)

The Lilly's said...

Wow, I got chills as I scrolled down the page, totally not expecting to see that ultrasound picture! I am so thrilled for you and grateful that you decided to share your thoughts, I could totally relate, that's how I felt in the beginning w/Alex. I hope you'll be able to relax as time progresses. Congrats!

Sarah said...

Congratulations again and again!! The blessings truly do come after the trial of our faith. SO happy for you!

Kim . . . wyomingmade said...

I couldn't go to bed until I read your words, thanks for taking a chance on your blog and opening your heart again.

I am so happy for your family, and it is good to have others celebrate what your excited and scared for.

Just please enjoy every moment, of your pregnancy and treasure them, then share them with me later. Now I am ready for bed, I'll have sweet dreams of Millz in your arms.

Fostervision said...

I am so excited for you! One of these days we will have to chat..your post brought back so many feeling from my little Emily's birth/pregnancy. I bled every day of the entire pregnancy. I was so afraid to get attached, and then realized that she was mine whether she made it or not. What a difference that made! She is now 7 and a little stinker, and thanks to complications during her pregnancy she is my last, hurrah no more P. but sad for no more babies. I am with you and the emotional roller coaster! You and your family deserve so much happiness, you are so giving and wonderful to everyone you come in contact with. Our family wishes you all the best!!!!!

Amanda said...

All I can say is a HUGE CONGRATS!!! Remember, "from great trials...also come great blessings." I find in NO coninsidece that you and I seem to follow one another. You lost your little one about 6 months after we lost ours and you will be having your new little one about 6 months after ours. AMAZING!!! Love you tons...my prayers are with you...I know EACH and EVERY day can be scary!

Amy said...

Just wanted to add my congrats again! I'm so thrilled for you!

The Snellie's said...

You sure know how to make a girl cry...I have been trying to call you all week to find out about the ultrasound. I am so happy for you having gone through the whole miscarriage thing too it really tugged on my heart strings to hear another going through hard times too. With great faith comes blessings...I still don't understand why it had to happen but I have faith there was a reason behind it. I am so happy for you let me know if you need anything...like I said if you need a break for a while bring the kids over to play so you can rest. Love ya

Cory and Becca said...

how exciting...Congrats to you and your family... :)

Carrie said...

I just can't stop the tears! I am so thrilled that things have finally started to fall into place for you and your sweet family. This is such happy news.

I had so many similar feelings when I became pregnant as well. We spoke not a word about it for months. I couldn't even bring myself to take the prenatal vitamins simply because I didn't want to commit to it. I couldn't. it was just too painful. Some say I missed out on celebrating and enjoying that time as precious as it was. They didn't understand that I had to protect my heart. It took me forever to finally reach the point where I could connect with the idea and feel good about it.

Savor this sweet little one. She's yours. She is a gift. A miracle. A manifestation of God's love for his children. And thank you for sharing her with us.

We love her already and love you even more!!!

Trinbean said...

congrats kim!!! So exciting!!!

Kristina P. said...

Kim, thank you so much for my comment. How exciting that I pop over here with such great news!

Congrats!

I will return!

Heather said...

well wouldn't you know?! That is just just awesome! Your faith and strength moves me! Thank you so much for sharing. I can't wait to meet her and hear all the "great" pregnancy stuff as it happens. There's a prayer in my heart for all of you!

Manda Jane Clawson said...

Kim- you are AMAZING! Do you know that? My gosh I am sitting here bawling because of your sweet story and happy news. Congrats- you and Flavio deserve it! I'll be keeping you and your cute family in my prayers!

Lisa said...

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

Many congrats and you will be in our prayers!

Brenda said...

CONGRATULATIONS KIM!!!!!!!!!! I am so very happy and excited for you and your beautiful family!
Wonderful News!!!!!!

The Gag-nears said...

Glad to be the 78th well wisher on here, but my computer has been on the fritz, and the first thing I do is come here and check my good friend kim's blog and now I am bawling, bawling at 1230 in the morning because I am SO SO happy. I am wanting to drive to your house right now and just hug you so hard and cry some more. Chills running down me. 22 weeks! A Girl! All so amazing to believe. The Lord knows what you can handle. and you can handle 3. I love you friend. Prayers are heard and answered. Diamonds.

Barrett said...

Holy cow! I just had these last three posts on my reader and I'm sorry but they sat there. I finally felt like looking at some of these missed posts from my friends and I'm glad I did! I had no idea the exciting news you had! Congrats! After Katie died and I had the miscarriage I was soo worried too when I got prego with Karah! Especially with the bleeding! But she turned out fine! So did Alyssa! We worry about all of our kids after having our first. Now, I am a little selfish because I am a little bummed that our due dates are so close (who knows when mine will come though-probably early.) I really wanted to ask you for a HUGE favor and you probably won't be feeling up to it when the time comes... I still am super happy for you! So excited to cuddle another orlandini kiddo! You guys make cute kids! Have I mentioned that I think Memms looks like Suri Cruise (but cuter!)

Vanessa said...

Aww that is just fantastic, I wanted to ask you at the BlueLemon but that is something you never ask just in case...you just had a preggo glow to you, if I knew you better I would have asked cause I'm rude like that.

Anyways, good luck I am so happy for you :)

-vanessa from inevergrewup.net

Amy said...

Wow...after 80 comments, what do you say? But congrats! My heart just about burst with excitment when I read this! Oh...and a girl? That is soooo exciting! Good luck. You'll be in our prayers!

Marc and Megan said...

I read this the other day... and I'm still speechless. I'm so happy for your miracle. There is some aspect of reading about this new little addition to your family that has given my heart permission to really hope again... not the tentative, don't-want-to-get-hurt-again kind of hope... but, the true, God-is-good and He-WILL-provide kind of hope. Thank you for sharing your joyful, blessed news... for the new seeds of hope that have been planted in my heart. Prayers for a very smooth and uneventful (in a good way) pregnancy. Hugs and then some.

Megan

LoveYaMissYa said...

Oh My Goodness! This is what happens when I don't blog stock for a few weeks!!!! CONGRATS! I hope you're not too crazy busy when we come out the first of July! We will need to get together for sure. Maybe I'll get lucky and you'll go 2 weeks early and I can be there! I'm so happy for you! I need to call you it's been too long I miss you!
Good luck and CONGRATS again!

Ponczoch Family said...

WOW!!! Sooo excited for you and your hubby! And 22 weeks! That is so great! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

Samantha said...

Congratulations, from the bottom of my heart! And what a beautiful post! I'm so excited for you!!

Samantha said...

By the way, that Samantha above is this Samantha. I got too excited to comment & forgot to log in. :O)

Amber! said...

You totally don't know me but I am buddies with Evonne who sent me your way. Congrats! I hope all continues to go well. Expect to see me around!

Michelle said...

What What What??? This is what I get for not checking my blog but thank goodness I checked today! Were you wondering why I'm such a loser friend w/ no contact? WOW! CONGRATULATIONS and good job for not saying anything to anyone. Thanks for the announcement. I will keep my fingers (and legs) crossed for you. Wow, wow, wow... So happy for you guys.

Heather said...

WHAT THE. . . HOLY COW. . .SERIOUSLY???

First off, so so so so so happy for you!! Tears are streaming down my face, my jaw is on the floor, and my legs are doing a happy dance for you!! In other words I look super weird!! I wish I could give you a huge big hug right now!!

Second of all, you little stinker!!! I am blown away at how well you keep a secret!! I saw you in January and you looked awesome!! Never would have guessed that you were with child and sick!! I figured that glow was happiness to see me. . .now I know the truth!! :)

Third, my sweet friend . . . I love and adore you!! So happy that you are getting your little girl that you have jumped through flaming hoops to get!! It gives me a lot of hope to see you finally get that sweet baby!! I am praying that this sweet little angel will be safe and healthy!! Also, that you will not become "wombless"!! Periods suck. . .but keep the factory working!!

I probably should have put this in an email. . .oh well. I will add to the 89 comments!! (so popular)

*sorry it has taken me so long to get on here and find out the news!! Michelle gave me a hint that something was up. . I didn't know what it was though. Just been so caught up with everything else. Sorry I have been such a horrible friend!! Luvs Hugs and lots of HOPE and Prayers!!

Jen said...

I am so happy for you! i cried when I read it! You are no alone in your worries. We did IVF to get pregnant. I was scared the whole time. I wasn't sick at all with my 1st and I wanted to be sick so I would know I was still pregnant. I got pregnant again with twins our second IVF procedure and I did the same thing. I was lucky that I got to go in more, but I would only relax for a few days after the docs. apt and then start to worry again. I am so happy for you. You have beautiful kids!

I also love those mini eggs! I have bought 5 bags already:( Luckily my kids find them and eat them up!

Joniece said...

I could not be more excited for you. I was thinking about you today, and just wanted to let you know i still love you! haha. And am so so happy for you! Can't wait to meet her :)

have a wonderful day.

Joniece

Kate Giovinco Photography said...

congrats I am so happy for you and your family. A girl what another wonderful blessing.