Thursday, July 19, 2007

I thought...

...that a blog was a place to share one's innermost thoughts. One's hopes and fears...one's joys and sorrows. I received about five e-mails today from some of the dearest people I know who happened to read the comment that "anonymous" left for me this morning. Lucky me, I happened to read it after school today and have literally been SICK all day. I am not sure who it was, I wish that if you felt you could say those things about me, and you honestly enjoyed reading my blog, then you could add to my life instead of hinder it. In response to that comment, I received this e-mail...I wasn't going to address this, and not make a big deal out of it, but I feel that I had to. While I will omit the portion with the comment I will let you read the reaction that just one person had to it. I could not have explained it better myself:

"Hey Woman,

Please forgive me if this adds any stress to your life, I don't want it to. I just want to tell you how much I love you and why.

To me, you write like a real person. Like a person who doesn't have a perfect life, and isn't afraid to admit it. You are bold. You are brave. I'm such a chicken that I never put my feelings and my struggles on my blog because I'm scared to do so. I admire your courage to tell the world that "Hey, sometimes I feel like poop, but because of my testimony, I know I'm going to get through it!" And you share your testimony, all the time. I think that is amazing.

The times you've written about being in a funk and down in the dumps, it has helped me tremendously to know that I'm not the only one. I don't feel like it portrays negativity, but hope for a brighter day tomorrow. It shows the amazing capacity of love that you have for your family, and the high expectation you have of yourself in taking care of them and trying your hardest to please your Heavenly Father in the role he has blessed you with. To me, it shows that you actually understand the responsibilities that you have, and that yes, it can be a very daunting and difficult task. It also shows that YOU know that you'll get through it. You know He is there for you.

I love you Kim. Your stories have taught me so much. You are such a strong and faithful woman and I am SO grateful for the example that you have set for me. I didn't post this on your blog because I didn't want to cause you any undo stress by "anonymous" telling me how I misunderstood what they were trying to say, which I may have done. I am sorry if this upsets you, I really don't mean it to. I just love you and your darling sweet family so very very much. We have been so blessed by knowing you."

Lots and lots of love,

"A Courageous Friend Who Shared Her Name!"

So, perhaps now you will understand if sometimes it appears that I am negative about my family. It is SO hard to juggle family, home, chores, motherhood, children, and be a student, photographer, friend, hold a calling, and support everyone around me...and sometimes I don't always share the roses and sunshine...sometimes I just needed a place to share my feelings and felt protected enough to share them of all places, on MY blog! I do not do this for the reasurrance of others. I don't even need to explain myself now. It is enough to know that I DO have a testimony. I have had A LOT of crap dealt to me throughout my life, depression/suicide/nervous breakdowns run RAMPANT throughout my family...so if I seem a bit negative sometimes, well then perhaps I am going through a slump, if you don't like it, you are invited not to read. Suffice it to say that I adore my family with ALL of my heart. I know who I am, I have so much FAITH IN ME, in my potential, that if all I had left in the world was me and my testimony, I would not falter.

I know that we all have our struggles, we all have things in our path that make us stumble, let us help lift eachother, we have enough put at each of our feet that we don't need to make things harder for one another. If you knew me, you would already know that!

16 comments:

mommyoffour said...

Oh, I love you Kimmie!!!! All I have to say is I agree 100% with what your courageous friend said. Words right out of my mouth.

I love hearing from you... your posts always boosted me and put a smile on my face.

Thanks for your thoughts... you are awesome!

Olivia said...

I love you Kim! You help me realize that every day is worth living. Thank you.

moosh in indy. said...

Girl!? I'm so confused? Am I that out of the loop? I'm calling you and I don't care that it's 7 am in YEWTAHR.
Someone was mean to you? *grumblegrumbleswearVENGANCE*

Sam, Sam & Hollie said...

I couldn't agree more! It's weird. I feel like I've known you a lot longer than I actually have, and I think it's because of your honesty. You know who you are & you don't hide it. Thank you for being you!

Amy & Josh said...

I agree that a blog should be a place to vent if needs be and just express your feelings without feeling judged by others or without looking for approval. I am also a little confused, it sounds like you were really bothered by whatever that person said? You are the most thoughtful person I know and don't try to hide who you are, that is why I have kept in touch, and you can't get rid of me even if you try-he he he. I love ya Kim.

Amanda said...

I too must be out of the loop and did not read someone's negative comments. Kimmie I agree with everyone else that you are the person that is saying what everyone of us is feeling an is too afraid to say. LIFE IS HARD AND IT IS NOT PERFECT!!!!

Rebecca Tyler said...

Hey Kim, although we don't know each other apart from blog visits I feel compelled to comment. I didn't see what was written to you, and it sounds like it was pretty rude and hurt your feelings. I'm sorry that happened to you and that the person wouldn't even leave a name. What a coward.

Anyways, it seems you have LOTS of people who love and admire you, and you have great faith. That's the important thing...not negative, hurtful people. I hope you always focus on your happiness, your family and your calling. It sounds like you've been through a lot in life, and have had a positive outcome. You are obviously couragous and strong. :o) And an inspiration to many!

Keep your head up and stay true.
~Rebecca

desiraecarnahan said...

Dear Kim,
We visit your blog often to enjoy your beautiful photos. Thank you for sharing your talent with us less fortunate.
You are a dear friend who has the ability to make everyone you come in contact with feel special. It is rare to meet one so beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside. What ever the comment was that upset you remember "Sticks and stones may brake my bones but WORDS will never hurt me!" You are loved!

Bec said...

Kimmie Sue - I know you - I really do and I don't know what this "anonymous" said but I do know YOU. You are real - never fake - you are true - never faltering. You are YOU. and I love you for it. I know you and you have overcome many great odds and are a wondreful person. Please know that. And I mean this with all my heart. At the end when you said "if you knew me, you would already know that" it is true - I know you and you are amazing. sup pro wipe wipe.

Skye and Aaron said...

Kim! I have to agree with a bunch of others...i think i'm totally out of the loop cause i have no idea what happened?
But regardless of that, whoever wrote you that beautiful email is so right! i LOVE your blog, and reading what you have to say. I tell my Husband all the time how nice it is to read a blog that isn't all fluffy. It's real. You're a real woman going through a real life. It's hard to find people who are honest enough to share that sometimes.
You're the best. Really. Don't ever change a thing!

Crystalyn said...

"We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world."
Helen Keller

We all have good and hard things in life. It's what makes this life beautiful, growing, and rich. We all have days when life couldn't be better and days when it seems it couldn't be any worse. What makes the difference is what we do with it.

Your life speaks for itself Kim. Anyone can see that. Maybe some are a little bit jealous of it. I second your letter.

You rock!

Jonathan Canlas said...

no transformer was found. they backed out of letting us do a walk through...

anyway...i am beyond curious of this anonymous comment...

maybe our paths will cross someday...oh, life beyond the blog...

Amy said...

What is with people saying such negative things? I had someone "anonymously" leave a message on one of my posts a while back and completely insulted me! I cried and cried! Why are people so heartless? I don't know what this person said to you, but you are loved by so many people! Try not to let it get you down. Some people just want everyone else to be miserable just like they are!

blair hill said...

I am so lost my dear, but you're super, which you know, so chin up my love! ♥

Barrett said...

I am so confused too! I need to read these recent posts a little closer I guess (I just skimmed it because the kids are screaming and it's hard to concentrate!) When did this happen? What happened to your blog that's linked to mine (I swear I check every few day compulsively and now I have no idea what's going on-I guess I just need to see you!) I'll read everything and catch up better later! I just scrolled down and saw the pictures of SELF-love them! I also love the baby in the hands (karlee) so cute-wish my little one was that small and had a picture like that! Later!

Carrie said...

What? Someone left a hurtful comment? I'm lost.

You know- I had kinda the same problem. Someone judged me for some things that I wrote on my blog! I thought that it was MY BLOG too! A place where we can share our thoughts and feelings and experiences! Have a support group of other moms and friends of sorts to get encouragement and ideas!

I hope that you keep doing what you were doing! You gave so much hope and motivation to so many people! Myself included! I love you Kim! I can totally see why my cuz loves and adores you so much! Please don't give up! We all love to hear about ya and your adorable family and your strong faith and testimony! On top of your beautiful pictures! You ROCK sweetie!