...that a blog was a place to share one's innermost thoughts. One's hopes and fears...one's joys and sorrows. I received about five e-mails today from some of the dearest people I know who happened to read the comment that "anonymous" left for me this morning. Lucky me, I happened to read it after school today and have literally been SICK all day. I am not sure who it was, I wish that if you felt you could say those things about me, and you honestly enjoyed reading my blog, then you could add to my life instead of hinder it. In response to that comment, I received this e-mail...I wasn't going to address this, and not make a big deal out of it, but I feel that I had to. While I will omit the portion with the comment I will let you read the reaction that just one person had to it. I could not have explained it better myself:
Please forgive me if this adds any stress to your life, I don't want it to. I just want to tell you how much I love you and why.
To me, you write like a real person. Like a person who doesn't have a perfect life, and isn't afraid to admit it. You are bold. You are brave. I'm such a chicken that I never put my feelings and my struggles on my blog because I'm scared to do so. I admire your courage to tell the world that "Hey, sometimes I feel like poop, but because of my testimony, I know I'm going to get through it!" And you share your testimony, all the time. I think that is amazing.
The times you've written about being in a funk and down in the dumps, it has helped me tremendously to know that I'm not the only one. I don't feel like it portrays negativity, but hope for a brighter day tomorrow. It shows the amazing capacity of love that you have for your family, and the high expectation you have of yourself in taking care of them and trying your hardest to please your Heavenly Father in the role he has blessed you with. To me, it shows that you actually understand the responsibilities that you have, and that yes, it can be a very daunting and difficult task. It also shows that YOU know that you'll get through it. You know He is there for you.
I love you Kim. Your stories have taught me so much. You are such a strong and faithful woman and I am SO grateful for the example that you have set for me. I didn't post this on your blog because I didn't want to cause you any undo stress by "anonymous" telling me how I misunderstood what they were trying to say, which I may have done. I am sorry if this upsets you, I really don't mean it to. I just love you and your darling sweet family so very very much. We have been so blessed by knowing you."
Lots and lots of love,
"A Courageous Friend Who Shared Her Name!"
So, perhaps now you will understand if sometimes it appears that I am negative about my family. It is SO hard to juggle family, home, chores, motherhood, children, and be a student, photographer, friend, hold a calling, and support everyone around me...and sometimes I don't always share the roses and sunshine...sometimes I just needed a place to share my feelings and felt protected enough to share them of all places, on MY blog! I do not do this for the reasurrance of others. I don't even need to explain myself now. It is enough to know that I DO have a testimony. I have had A LOT of crap dealt to me throughout my life, depression/suicide/nervous breakdowns run RAMPANT throughout my family...so if I seem a bit negative sometimes, well then perhaps I am going through a slump, if you don't like it, you are invited not to read. Suffice it to say that I adore my family with ALL of my heart. I know who I am, I have so much FAITH IN ME, in my potential, that if all I had left in the world was me and my testimony, I would not falter.
I know that we all have our struggles, we all have things in our path that make us stumble, let us help lift eachother, we have enough put at each of our feet that we don't need to make things harder for one another. If you knew me, you would already know that!