These past two nights I have blogged. In my mind. Too tired to get up and wake up my body even more by blasting my eyes and mind with a computer, I lay there and I write. In my heart, and in my mind, and somehow in the still of the night it quiets my heart. This meditation of sorts helps me to realize all that I am working toward to be better.
Last night my dialogue had a lot to do with how things are going in my "Choose to be Happy" mantra. Sometimes in life we have these enormous epiphanies, and it can be easy to let them go and forget how utterly life changing they were for us. We so easily can become bogged down by the every single day, and the worries that we forget that we are choosing something different. Our focus is not going to be on the difficult times, the times that stretch us to our very limits, but rather that there can be happiness during those times.
I am happy to say that for the last month, I have been doing well. I have been trying to remind myself that if I am happy, the rest doesn't matter. Happiness is better for my physical, psychological and emotional bodies. I have felt it, I have worked for nothing less. The problem? We have a million other things trying to tear us down. We have hard trials, struggles, and people who want nothing more than for us to fail and wallow in our misery.
Last night was hard. It was dark. I was sad. I was lonely, I was depressed and it was so hard for me to see any sort of light or happiness. Then I remembered that I just had to. I had to take deep breaths until I found some sort of light and happiness and hope in my life. Eventually, after the fourth hour I found it. That, along with the help of some Xanax, I eventually found peace, and rest, and sleep.
I was able to wake this morning refreshed and ready to take on a new day.
Even when life is hard, it continues to be good, especially when I choose to be happy.