Coming Around

I have this anxiety when it comes to blogging. I think that what happened to my family nearly five years ago was so traumatizing that I felt utterly exposed in so many areas that blogging could no longer be one of them. I recently came to the realization that my kids are almost to the age where they will be online and they will read my blog and they will have questions. I want to have answers. So here I am, trying to begin again. 

This past week I have thought a lot about how grateful I am that I am still here, in this marriage, with Flavio. We were both hurt so much. It is so hard to come back from collapse and near divorce, but somehow we have managed. There has had to have been tremendous push and pull and give and take. More so than I ever imagined. 

I was able to share with my best friends this week, how good it feels to finally be on the other side. A lot of times people talk about hitting rock bottom. We are finally on the top of the mountain we had to climb in order to get out of the bottom, and we are sledding down, and happy and laughing more. 

Things are not perfect. Things are still very hard and challenging. Life is still life. But we are still doing it together. For that I am so happy. 

Time Machine

About Time Machine

The Time Machine app helps people discover what their favorite brands, causes and people are up to, learn how they can get involved and share their experiences on social media. By completing actions, users support causes and qualify to earn rewards, VIP experiences and products. Businesses and charities can use Time Machine to engage their audiences in projects and movements online and beyond the screen. Time Machine is available on iOS and coming soon to Android. You can find more information at www.timemachine.do.

Here are some of the best features of the platform.

• With multiple campaigns to support and 100+ ideas for meaningful ways to spend your time, it's a great jumping off point for people who want to get involved with causes, but don't where to start.
• It's a great way to teach your kids how to use social media for good.
• With so many causes to support, every selfie is an #unselfie. ;)
• Users get to spend their time in meaningful, collaborative ways and have excellent chances to win amazing rewards. Its' a win-win!

How It Works 

There's a great chart on our website. 

1. Get the app and Join the It’s Time Campaign. Login with Facebook or Twitter and tap the “It’s Time” campaign to get started.

2. Take action and support the causes you love. Tap ”Do This” to open the action list. Create real change, learn through experience, have some fun. This is your time. Complete actions and share your support.

3. Share your actions to raise awareness and support. Share your actions on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram to raise awareness and support for the Tyler Robinson Foundation, The Progeria Research, Sophie’s Place and our other charity partners.

4. Get Karma. Whether it's a reward, a thank you, or just that good feeling you get when you give, Karma will come to find you. By sharing your actions on behalf of our charity partners, you’ll show your support and be entered to win amazing rewards.

About the It's Time Campaign

Time Machine has teamed up with Costa Vida, Arvo, Beacon Audio and Jaybird to support The Progeria Research Foundation, the Tyler Robinson Foundation, Sophie’s Place and dozens of other incredible organizations to people you make their time count. To participate, users download the Time Machine app, join the "It’s Time" campaign and start taking action. Each action users complete raises awareness and support for great causes and qualifies you to win awesome prizes, like the following:

• VIP Tickets and Meet + Greet with Imagine Dragons
• VIP Tickets to Imagine Dragons
• GA Tickets to Imagine Dragons
• Jaybird Headphones
• Arvo Watches
• Beacon Audio Speakers
• A Month of Costa Vida Meals
• A Week of Costa Vida Meals
• A Free Costa Vida Meal
  

Who am I? The one where I tell you I am no longer religious.

It has been...awhile.

A long, long while.

I do not even know who I am anymore. I contemplate blogging. I sit down at the computer and I try really, really hard, but then anxiety takes over and blogging seems like the worst idea on the planet.

It has been almost a year and that makes me sad. They say there is a time and a season for everything, and I truly believe that. I have tried to be gentle with  myself in that knowledge. The past year has been difficult, but also very fulfilling. I have learned so much about forgiveness, and growth, and knowledge. There is so much I want to share, and I hope to have the courage to do so with time.

I guess I will start with a big one. This one isn't easy for me on any front, but the more time that passes I have come to realize that I need to share.

A year ago this past January, after three years of blood, sweat, tears, heartache, heart pouring, soul searching, grasping, study, prayer, fasting, panic, pain, sorrow, anguish and any other word you can use to describe horror and torture, I made the decision to no longer weekly attend the religion I was born into. It was not until I made that very difficult decision that I began to feel peace, happiness, grace, love, strength and hope.

I know for many of my family, and friends this comes as a shock and for some even a disappointment. For me, it was really hard to slowly share my decisions. Many still do not know because it really isn't something you shout from the rooftops, "Hey guys! I am no longer religious, but I am still me and nothing has changed other than that." If it is really hard and takes you three months to actually talk to your spouse, and then another to get up the courage to talk to your children, imagine how much longer it takes to tell those outside of such a sacred circle.

My "leaving" has been wrought with mixed emotions. Mostly because our religious views can be so deeply set, and our belief systems come with consequences. A lot of people are genuinely worried about me. I think this is the hardest part of this entire situation. I do not like people feeling sorry for me, or having anyone worry about me. Please don't. Really. I am okay. I am so so so happy.

I may not be religious, but I still am and always have been a deeply, deeply spiritual person. In fact, that hasn't changed one bit, if anything, my spirituality has only grown deeper because of this. Believe it or not, I am a kinder person, a softer person, a much better person than I ever was when I was religious. I was even able to stop swearing. I actually love myself more deeply. I am more confident. I am more patient and loving and open. It is freeing and it is beautiful.

I recently opened up to a dear friend, and she helped me to explain it best. Religion for me is not right for me right now. I am not going to say that it will not ever be a part of my life again in the future, but for now, I feel confident in my decision.