They're done! Go and see and buy! Toooooo Cute!

we finally have all our childrens clothing available in the shop.

Guess who was on the front page of etsy?

(I am really glad Millz loves her birth mother)

We totally were this morning! Holla!

Go see our new goodies. Mmmm.

Twins Anyone?

Been on my mind all day. Thanks for posting this mrs. r.

I want all of them.

If you do too, go forth and read.

Hoping to Adopt

See there? Over there, on the left hand side of the blog...I have a link list. Cool right?

Well, if you, or your friends are hoping to adopt and would like to be added to this list, leave me your link in the comments.

Sound good?

Happy day all!

Article: Adopted

Originally posted at the r house.

Adopted
by Jana Jones Steed

"We had to wait a long time for our turn to get a baby. I can’t understand how Heavenly Father decides when people should get a baby. My best friend has lots and lots of kids in her family. Her mommy had two babies while we were waiting to adopt Joey. When I told Mommy that it wasn’t fair, she just said that we needed to be patient. Heavenly Father has different plans for different people, and He knows best."

"What do you live for?"

"...Who would you die for?"

Also, if you haven't, you must. It isn't so much about "adoption" as it is to choose or not to choose life. If these two don't go hand in hand, I don't know what does.

For a really neat post on such a thing, read here.

I love this movie. I own it, so if you want to borrow it you can.

I'll throw in a box of tissue.

"That little pink plus sign is so unholy."

"That ain't no etch a sketch this is one doodle that can't be un-did home skillet."

If you haven't seen it yet, you should. At least, I loved it!

National Adoption Month

A few days ago, I was reading this blog and came across the fact that this year's presidential theme for National Adoption month was:

Adopting Children from Foster Care

This was the proclamation he gave on October 31, 2008

National Adoption Month, 2008

A Proclamation by the President of the United States of America

During National Adoption Month, we recognize the compassion of adoptive and foster families as we seek to raise awareness of the need for every child in America to have a safe, loving, and permanent home.

Adopting a child is a great joy and also a great responsibility. Parents are a child's first teachers, and adoptive families can help children learn character and values, the importance of giving back to their community and country, and the courage to realize their potential. On November 15, caring parents across our Nation will celebrate National Adoption Day by finalizing their adoptions and bringing home children in need of a hopeful life.

My Administration is committed to helping young people find the love, stability, and support that a family can provide. We have joined with community and faith-based organizations to raise public awareness of foster children awaiting adoption. With the help of the Congress, we are assisting families in overcoming the financial barriers to adopting children through programs such as the Adoption Incentives Program. In addition, the Collaboration to AdoptUsKids project, which can be found at www.adoptuskids.org, provides guidance and resources for parents exploring adoption.

During National Adoption Month, we honor adoptive and foster parents who have shown America the depth and kindness of the human heart. Their love and dedication inspire the next generation of Americans to achieve their dreams and demonstrate the true spirit of our Nation.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim November 2008 as National Adoption Month. I call upon all Americans to observe this month with appropriate programs and activities to honor adoptive families and to participate in efforts to find permanent homes for waiting children.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirty-first day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand eight, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-third.

GEORGE W. BUSH

Cool right? You've been participating in something Mr. President thinks is uber important, and you didn't even realize it. (Heck neither did I, does that make me a bad American?)

Either way, having been a foster parent, I know it is a hard job. A job that does not come without it's rewards and heartaches.

I will just leave you to two blogs of other foster mother's that have touched my heart and made me realize what an amazing calling it is to be a foster parent. I look up to these women. They are so strong and such good examples of what we can all be if we only try.

http://ourfamilygardenwherewildthingsgrow.blogspot.com/

http://anothersmalladventure.blogspot.com/

Happy National Adoption Day!

GTU Recap

Remember this?

You can read about it here.

It made me cry.

I love my friends Myra and mrs r. I am thankful for their segment. Beautifully done.

Enjoy some photos from the day. Compliments of Leisha Kelsey Photography.



ABC 4

Me, well part of me anyway. (Scary.)

mrs. r's finely manicured hand (by moi) and Myra. I love this pic of her. Everyone else is so staunch...she is just kickin' it...a la Myra.

The gals during the segment.

Josh. NOT to be confused with mr. r.

My ladies with the GTU ladies.

mrs. r

Leisha bo Beisha

The Crafties

Hott.

Myra

Such amazing friends I have.

My chunky boots. I am certain they are out of fashion.

I have to say THE highlight of my day was when Reagan told me how "beautiful" my hair was. Wow, really? That made me feel so good. Thanks Reagan.

Adoptions DO happen!

I couldn't have chosen a more perfect post than this for today. Go. Read. Cry.

Adoption lingo, yo.

NEGATIVE TERMS
Gave up her child for adoption
Real parent; natural parent
Adoptive parent
His/her adopted child
Illegitimate
Adoptee
To keep
Adoptable child; available child
Foreign adoption
Track down parents
Unwanted child
Is adopted

PREFERRED TERMS
Placed her child for adoption
Birth parent; biological parent
Parent
His/her child
Born to unmarried parents
Child who was adopted
To parent
Waiting child
International adoption
Search
Child placed for adoption
Was adopted

Positive Adoption Language

When I first became a part of the adoption realm, one of the things that hit me were the terms that people used to describe adoption. I was probably guilty of using some of them. Now, if I hear a term that is negative, I cringe...and try to educate. I found this article very insightful. Just thought I would share!

***Taken from http://www.internationaladoption.com/ ***
Positive Adoption Language
Excerpted from "International Adoption Guidebook," Mary M. Strickert © 2004

First introduced by Minneapolis social worker Marietta Spencer more than 20 years ago, positive adoption language is crafted to give the maximum respect, dignity, responsibility, and objectivity about the decisions made by both birthparents and adoptive parents in discussing the family planning decisions they have made for children who have been adopted. By using positive adoption language, we help abolish the old stereotype that adoption is second best – a dirty little secret that everyone knows about.



If you stop and really think about what you’re saying, positive adoption language is just common sense. For example, take terms such as real parent, real mother, real father, real family – these terms imply that an adopted child is not a real part of the family. By using phrases like this, you are invalidating both the child being a “real” part of the family and the “realness” of the family itself.



Through the use of positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption. By consistently speaking (and writing) in positive adoption language, someday this language will become commonplace – and the old hurtful terms will only serve to expose those who choose to be mean and small-minded. When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption, like birth, is just another way to build a family. Both are important, but one is not necessarily better than the other.


There Are Better Ways to Say What You Mean
The old clichés "give up" and "put up for adoption" can slip out of our mouths almost unnoticed. However, are these phrases really accurate descriptions of what takes place when parents choose adoption? Of course not – no one who has gestated a child for nine months can cavalierly “give away” that child! Much heart-wrenching thought and soul searching goes into the decision to choose adoption for your child. Yes, parents do "give up" their parental rights, but do not give up on their child or give up loving their child. Saying that they “gave up” their child for adoption stigmatizes birthparents for deciding they aren't ready or able to parent. Saying that birthparents “gave up” their child is akin to saying that the birthparents made the wrong choice, when in fact, the birthparents made an incredibly strong choice by putting their child ahead of themselves.



Instead of contributing to the use of these outdated and hurtful clichés, those of us touched by adoption can do something to change the world for the better by using positive adoption language. We may have to go through a period of retraining our own minds and hearts while we carefully choose the words we use to describe adoption. We may need to (gently) correct and educate our family, our friends, and our co-workers. As we become more accustomed to using positive adoption language, we'll discover that this way of speaking about adoption will feel just as natural as the old hurtful clichés once did – and hearing the old clichés will offend us as much as a racial slur.



What we say and the words we use, communicate a lot about our values. The conscious and consistent use of positive adoption language affirms that adoption is as valid a way to build a family as birth. Choose the following positive adoption language instead of the negative phrases that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language you'll reflect the true nature of adoption – free of innuendo.




Additional Resources: Glossaries
Disabilities DefinitionsFrom the National Adoption Center, definitions of risk factors and physical, emotional, behavioral, and learning disabilities. Glossary of Adoption TerminologyFrom AdoptNet. Glossary of TermsFrom the California Association of Adoption Agencies. Glossary of Terms: Adoption SubsidyIf you are adopting a child who will receive a subsidy, these are the words to know. Glossary of Terms: InfertilityWords and terms used in the diagnosis and treatment of fertility problems, prepared by Drs. Aniruddha Malpani and Anjali Malpani Glossary of Terms: Mental HealthFrom the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

House M.D.

Mmmm. Sometimes I dream about Hugh Laurie. Sure, he is old enough to be my father, but that is beside the point.

Really though, I love him as House. In my dreams I have contracted some rare and disturbing disease that only House can cure.

Another reason I love him? This episode entitled Joy, spoke about adoption.

Watch it...because what is better than House and adoption? Not much that I can think of.

Humm-i-na.

3rd Annual Adoption Walk with Me

Do it TODAY!

Because we all need to burn a few calories.

And because adoption needs you.

Wow.

I will reiterate that I have some of THE best friends in the entire world.

Pupil, is one of them. She comes over weekly to my house, with agenda in hand and we meet about adoption, we discuss adoption...among other things. She is the one who encouraged me to post every day for the month of November about adoption. Funny, when I woke up this morning and checked my blog almost around noon, I came and there were 21 comments. I was like, "WHAT?!" I didn't think the post was THAT grand...so I started reading comment after comment, then I got to anonymous...and then I saw mrs. r's comment, and then comment after comment from people I have met, most I have not...and tears rolled down my cheeks when I realized that these people had read the comment long before I had, they were on a mission to not let one person hurt another one of our sisters...sisters in blogland, sisters in infertility, sisters in adoption...

Every word in her post struck me...right down to the irony. She was at my home when I was writing the "Are you there God?" post. It was a tag team post. Brilliantly thought up and wonderfully executed. As I wrote it, I said over my shoulder, "You know what happened the last time I posted something this deep..." Well, I was so hurt and so crushed that I deleted the blog I had had for over a year. How utterly sad that was. How could I let one person dictate who I was?

Well, it won't happen this time. As you can see...just like me, there are HUNDREDS, and THOUSANDS of women and men who suffer with this particular trial.

You know what? The past three years of wanting another child have taught me, to love more deeply, to cherish EVERY moment because they are so fleeting. To suggest for even a moment that I am not thankful and grateful for what I have been given, it only proves that the person who tried to hurt me does not know me. Every night before I go to bed I spend a large amount of time by the bedside of my children. I hold their hands, I sweep the hair from their little faces, I cover them up...I kiss their cheeks. I recognize and realize that they may be the only children I ever get to have. I kneel down and thank my Father in Heaven for them, and because of the joy I have in them, that is the reason I want to be a mother again.

I want to thank EACH of you for your love and support yesterday. It meant so much to me. It brought tears to my eyes. Every comment touched my heart, if any of you are struggling through something similar, I encourage you to take the time to read each comment, because there is strength in not feeling alone. I will leave you with one particular comment that touched my heart especially, and in keeping with the spirit of the posting this month, I think it is perfect. Thank you Ashley.

I totally understand where you're coming from.I have a daughter through adoption.

I don't want another baby yet.

I am not ready to face my "broken" body again.

I want to feel normal.

I want to have just something, ANYTHING happen without a million pieces of drama, an ordeal or having to lay out my entire life history to the world.

I hate having no privacy.

I hate the fact that the events surrounding the birth of my daughter, and the 45 days afterwards, were spent in fear and pain, not joy. We never talk about it.

I hate the loss of the other children I'd hoped for. I had also envisioned myself with kids in a pew; four, to be exact. But it looks like two may be our limit. That kills me.

I hate that people don't try to understand. That you're told, "Be grateful." It's like being told, after losing your leg, to be grateful for the other one. It's not that you aren't grateful for your leg, your arms and every other appendage you've been given, but you still miss the lost leg.

Having to once again face your own infertility is just another reminder that you're a freak. You can't do what God designed you to do. If you can't produce children, then what good is having the instincts? It's being reminded of all the hopes and dreams you have had to let go of, ones you've probably had since you were a girl.

I love my daughter. I couldn't love her more if I'd made her out of playdough myself. I celebrate her adoption and I give myself major props for being able to pull off an adoption at the age of 24. But I still mourn that I couldn't feel her kick inside of me, I couldn't share seeing her for the first time with my husband. I couldn't look at her for months without feeling guilt and pain for her birth mother.

I would love to share the joy of being pregnant with my family.

And I mourn that I may not be able to.

And that's what makes me totally normal.

"Are you there God, it's me, Margaret."

"Are you there God, it's me, Kim."

Do you remember me?

Ya, I am the one whose fallopian tubes are blocked by endometriosis, and whose left ovary is encrusted with the same junk.

Lately, I've really been wondering... "What is Normal?" "I just want to be normal!"

I bawled my eyes out two weeks ago when once again, my body failed me. I cried for two hours until my eyes were dry and sleep finally overcame me. I think that was somewhere around four in the morning. I remember being really tired that day.

I want to be normal. I want to be like all of the other happy little families taking up an entire row at church with their six kids.

I want to FILL up the car we bought a few months ago...really. Today as I was driving my car...it just felt, EMPTY.

For once, I would love to know what it is like when an adoption is successful. I want to know that the feelings I feel in the first instant that it is right...will stay the same until the end...when I am holding a baby.

Really, I just wish...right this second that all of my friends who are struggling with these same feelings and problems would know what it was like to have all of their hopes and dreams and wishes come true. Please help them. PLEASE.

Thanks God, when you have some time, let's chat.

P.S. I do want to thank you for my two beautiful children that you have blessed me and Hubbs with. They are our strength and our joy...

Also, thank you for adoption, for making it possible for some of my friends whose ovaries and fallopian tubes and sperm are bunk...because through adoption, they can be parents.

Don't forget us.

Good Things Utah

Yo Peeps...for our adoption related post today...I ask ye Utahn's to tune into

Good Things Utah today!

Two of my favorite people in the world will be on the show, talking about ADOPTION.

mrs. r--an adoptive mother

and

Happy Love--a.k.a. Myra a birth mother

These ladies are THE go to people if you want to learn anything about adoption. They are my mentors and I am thankful to them for the joy and strength they have both been in my life and brought into my life.

And heck...you may even see me when they pan the "studio audience". Now, if that isn't worth watching for...what is?!

Rawk Your Vote!

The first time I saw this, I giggled and squee'd outloud...I still do.

I really, truly hate politics. I am thankful for those people who fully understand it, and lead and guide our country. I do my best to educate myself and make correct and right choices when choosing a candidate.


This is my third presidential election I have been able to vote in, today will Hubb's first! Holla, holla, Whoop! Whoop! Him. Remember when I blogged about him becoming a citizen? Well, today he has the remarkable opportunity and privilege to VOTE. Last night for FHE we sat down with the kids and talked about the importance of voting. How, especially in this election it seems neither choice is favorable, but it came down to the little things with us. Hubbs and I went through each candidate, each proposition and tried to come up with the best possible choice for each of us. Not that we shared the same opinion on everything, but that is what is SO wonderful about being able to vote...we have our own opinion.

I read this post this morning about the candidates views on adoption and abortion. I just want to share her thoughts about these items specifically:

"this is taken from obama's campaign site.

Supports a Woman's Right to Choose:

Barack Obama understands that abortion is a divisive issue, and respects those who disagree with him. However, he has been a consistent champion of reproductive choice and will make preserving women's rights under Roe v. Wade a priority as President. He opposes any constitutional amendment to overturn the Supreme Court's decision in that case.

Preventing Unintended Pregnancy:

Barack Obama is an original co-sponsor of legislation to expand access to contraception, health information and preventive services to help reduce unintended pregnancies. Introduced in January 2007, the Prevention First Act will increase funding for family planning and comprehensive sex education that teaches both abstinence and safe sex methods. The Act will also end insurance discrimination against contraception, improve awareness about emergency contraception, and provide compassionate assistance to rape victims.


this is taken from mccain's campaign site:

Overturning Roe v. Wade

John McCain believes Roe v. Wade is a flawed decision that must be overturned, and as president he will nominate judges who understand that courts should not be in the business of legislating from the bench.

Constitutional balance would be restored by the reversal of Roe v. Wade, returning the abortion question to the individual states. The difficult issue of abortion should not be decided by judicial fiat.

However, the reversal of Roe v. Wade represents only one step in the long path toward ending abortion. Once the question is returned to the states, the fight for life will be one of courage and compassion - the courage of a pregnant mother to bring her child into the world and the compassion of civil society to meet her needs and those of her newborn baby. The pro-life movement has done tremendous work in building and reinforcing the infrastructure of civil society by strengthening faith-based, community, and neighborhood organizations that provide critical services to pregnant mothers in need. This work must continue and government must find new ways to empower and strengthen these armies of compassion. These important groups can help build the consensus necessary to end abortion at the state level. As John McCain has publicly noted, "At its core, abortion is a human tragedy. To effect meaningful change, we must engage the debate at a human level."

Promoting Adoption

In 1993, John McCain and his wife, Cindy, adopted a little girl from Mother Teresa's orphanage in Bangladesh. She has been a blessing to the McCain family and helped make adoption advocacy a personal issue for the Senator.

The McCain family experience is not unique; millions of families have had their lives transformed by the adoption of a child. As president, motivated by his personal experience, John McCain will seek ways to promote adoption as a first option for women struggling with a crisis pregnancy. In the past, he cosponsored legislation to prohibit discrimination against families with adopted children, to provide adoption education, and to permit tax deductions for qualified adoption expenses, as well as to remove barriers to interracial and inter-ethnic adoptions. "

Thank you mrs. r for sharing your thoughts with us.

While, initially my choice for not voting for Obama was under different circumstances, (and I would have to get all political to explain it...but I hate getting political) this just further confirmed to me that I made a better choice and decision by not voting for Mr. O.

Ug...I hate politics. Did I mention that?

Now...you...go...vote...now! Pretty Please?

Be a Superhero.

Today, I ask each of you reading this, to please link to:

http://www.itsaboutlove.org/

Just once...or (PRETTY PLEASE) add it to your blogrolls. You never know who you may affect by such a simple act.

And maybe, just maybe someone reading YOUR blog may need to be guided to this wonderful website...someone who may be searching for a family for their little one, or maybe someone who needs to talk to someone about what they are going through.

Perspective.

This article was taken from the r house blog. Thank you r house.

****This article is about a friend of mine. Her mother wrote this article. Grab a tissue.****

I am constantly amazed at the strength and love of birth families.

What a profound influence grandparents of these babies can have on their future...either way:

"But What Was Best for the Baby?"

it's from the birth grandmother's point of view.
it sounds like this woman's experience with adoption is old school--moving the birth mom to a different home, never meeting the adoptive couple, not placing the baby in the adoptive couples arms herself ...things that i am very glad have changed over the last decade. for the most part, that is not how adoptions are done nowadays.

the mothers of birth mothers are very influential in the adoption process.
even though they do not have any legal right to the child, their passion for or against adoption is felt by everyone involved. (at least in my experience.)

according to LDS Family Services, the grandparents of the baby are one of the major reasons why babies are placed ...and also why they are not placed.

here's an especially thought-provoking part of the article:

At this point my own feelings were tender. How could I go through the months ahead at the side of my daughter, watch her give birth, and then not bring a baby home? However, the counselor explained that placing a baby through adoption meant giving a baby a home where it could receive all the blessings that we could not provide at this time, including being sealed to a worthy couple. But in my heart I could not accept this at that time. After all, the baby was my first grandchild. How could I allow this baby—my posterity—to go to another home? I was sure the Lord would bless our efforts if we sacrificed and did our very best to raise this child. Yes, there would be years of struggle, but I hoped that the day would come when my daughter would marry a worthy young man and be sealed to her child in the temple.