Blame it on the hormones...

Image copyright Jonathan Canlas Photography

...but when I got on facebook this morning, the tears began because I didn't expect to see a message from our friend Jon saying that:

these babies were online.

I cannot begin to describe what these photographs do to me.

Go here to see them put together into a beautiful story.

I love my job as a photographer.
I have had the opportunity to photograph two birth stories thus far in my journey.
After having my own birth photographed, I recommend it to EVERYONE.

I would be lying if I said I never had second thoughts about it.

I wasn't sure how I felt letting yet another person see my "hooha" (lol) but seeing these photographs, I could care less, and wish I could rewind time and have Jon there to capture the moments that J-Dawg and Memms entered the world.

The spirit that he captured in that tiny room, the moments of my sweet Hubbs watching his little girl are things that I would have never seen or experienced from my point of view and I thank Jon for capturing that for us in a way that is so beautiful and so sweet and so simple.

Teary, even as I write this, the feelings of that day are so strong in my heart and I know that Heavenly Father loves us so much and it was worth every tear, every heartache to get her here to us.

I encourage anyone to hire someone to capture this kind of special day through beautiful photography, you will never regret it.

If not me, well then you better be calling Jon to do it!

Thank you a million, zillion, billion times over and over Jon...and for coming so quickly after such a long day already.

Our hearts are full and so grateful.

Mine.

Sleeping Beauty

Had a little ten minute photo session with little Millz yesterday.

Ten minutes was all I had in me.

I went to the store, well two of them BY! MYSELF! and
it wore me to the core.
I don't remember being such a weakling after my other kiddos were born.

Anyway, got home and she was so sleepy and so out of it, I decided to try a few things with her and...

Voila!

This is my favorite of the bunch. I just want to eat her and munch on her.

Memms and J-Man adore her to pieces.

Who could resist?

The days are long, the nights are even longer...

...and I wouldn't have it any other way.



Enthralled with her. All three of them.



Hubbs can take pictures too! :)



Her first bath, I had lots of help, maybe a little too much. See the two sponges and the two different hands? Love it!

I feel like it has been a week since I last posted.
Still in a daze over here.

My apologies to all those who didn't get a personal text and or phone call announcing her arrival. That was Hubbs job, and well, if you have a husband you understand.

Off to nap now. Zzzzzzzz.

I've been a little busy...

...loving and cuddling on her.

I don't want to miss a moment.

I'll be back, sometime.

"Millz"

Born: July 22, 2009
Weight: 7 pounds 9 ounces
Length: 21.5 inches long

Thank You.

For your prayers and your thoughts, and for understanding.

I know it is weird and crazy, but it is how I feel. I don't want to feel the way I have been.

I do have faith.

I do have HOPE!

I know everything WILL be okay.

Oh how I love these littles.
It seems like forever ago these were taken, just sitting here on my computer waiting for me to have the time to edit them.

I love these tiny people so much.
Can't wait to run and jump and play with them again soon!

Hope your Sabbath is the best...love Sundays.
Thank you...again. :)

Struggling.

Photograph by Leisha Kelsey

It is weird that this post has been floating around in my mind for weeks now.

Hard to admit that my mind weighs so heavily,
when it should be rejoicing and celebrating.

Like all the weeks and months up until now, I am still having a really hard time believing and accepting that this little tiny life is about to come to our family.

Last night I cried as I held the blanket I plan to bring her home from the hospital in.
I caressed it and cuddled it and cried.

I cried because there is this part of me that is STILL so scared and so shaken and so broken from last year.

This part, while after many, many, talkings to about the opposite still wonders and fears that,

"What if?!"

What if something goes wrong with the delivery?

Is she still moving?

Is she okay?

What if there is something seriously wrong with her that we didn't know about, what will I do?

Some of these are the things swimming around in my head.
It is really hard to admit.
Really hard to share, to get it out.
I have never prayed so hard in my life for peace and comfort and support.

Maybe it is all because it is down to the wire once again. Once again for seemingly the millionth time in two years here we are...waiting, waiting to see if this little spirit is coming to stay.

I hate the wire.

I want to fast forward to the end of next week when I will know for certain.

Certain sounds like a much funner place to be than here.

S' Bridals

View entire event and order prints here.

Buyer Beware

So, uhm, this post has NOTHING to do with buying, but has everything to do with the other people at the grocery store.

The mid-twenty something (or younger I would assume by their tactlessness) men who frequent the grocery stores, and or work there during the times this pregnant woman must drag her kids to the store.

This post is for you gentlemen.
I use the term LOOSELY...extremely loose.

About two months ago, Hubbs was at work and we desperately needed groceries. So, I did the unimaginable but the much needed grocery shopping trip with the two kids. Oi. We did fine until checkout when the grocery store I chose takes the kids behind the checker...you know cuz that is how it works and it is the only way to get the cart through the line. Well, Memms decides she is going to have a freak out (not uncommon...she is a drama queen at times.)

Well, the idiotic dood who is bagging my groceries just can't handle her. He can't keep his big mouth shut for some reason and begins cursing and using the "Lord's" name in vain in reference to my child. Now, I can handle most things, but this was OUT OF LINE. Wanting desperately myself to get the H out of the store, I quickly paid and went to my car, all that night wishing I had said something to him, or complained to his manager, it was just not OKAY...this is customer SERVICE people, not, "Make this customer never come back service."

So, I let that one slide...until yesterday.

We needed milk. It was only 95 degrees outside, but alas we needed milk, and again Hubbs was at work, so I had to drag two tired, hot kids to the store, and as I situate them into the "Car Kart" I realize that there is only ONE steering wheel. The other had been broken off. SO, we give Memms the first go because afterall "Ladies First".

Then we get to the milk and I ask her to switch so that J-Man can have a turn.
Well, she does but then proceeds to FREAK out right in the dairy isle of Smiths.

Like, grade-A freak out.
(grade-a...I am SO FUNNY.)

Well joy of joys, who do I see out of my peripherals but two young men, who in their stupidity didn't comtemplate that this pregnant woman with TWO...YES TWO children ALREADY...might not need their input begin to say,

"Shut! UP!" and "Geez that kid is SO loud, shut her up."

Me? "OH NO HE DIDN'T!"

He got the...and I am sorry for all of you who don't like profanity...but the "man" er uh boy got the,

"Shut the H up you F'in Bast_ _ _ _!"

As in I said the entire thing.

Now...I don't condone this behavior.
I am nine months pregnant and I can't handle one more thing right now.

So I warn you, you man who has never had children, who has no clue that even though your children are driving YOU crazy and everyone else around them, that BESIDES that,
you love them regardless...
and will protect them beyond anything...

TO YOU I SPEAK:

BEWARE...because next time I am nine months pregnant, with my two kids, at the store, in 100 degree weather, it will be more than a few profanities...
it will be your head covered in 1% milk and Swiss cheese...
and I may be arrested, but it will be SO worth it.

You've been warned.

"Where have you been?!"

I have been hearing this A LOT the past few days.

Working on THIS for one.

Just trying to tie up all the loose ends of the photography bidnez before baby comes.

Also, cleaning my house.

I'll be back, I promise!

W Maternity

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C + K

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the r house

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