This article was taken from the r house blog. Thank you r house.
****This article is about a friend of mine. Her mother wrote this article. Grab a tissue.****
I am constantly amazed at the strength and love of birth families.
What a profound influence grandparents of these babies can have on their future...either way:
"But What Was Best for the Baby?"
it's from the birth grandmother's point of view.
it sounds like this woman's experience with adoption is old school--moving the birth mom to a different home, never meeting the adoptive couple, not placing the baby in the adoptive couples arms herself ...things that i am very glad have changed over the last decade. for the most part, that is not how adoptions are done nowadays.
the mothers of birth mothers are very influential in the adoption process.
even though they do not have any legal right to the child, their passion for or against adoption is felt by everyone involved. (at least in my experience.)
according to LDS Family Services, the grandparents of the baby are one of the major reasons why babies are placed ...and also why they are not placed.
here's an especially thought-provoking part of the article:
At this point my own feelings were tender. How could I go through the months ahead at the side of my daughter, watch her give birth, and then not bring a baby home? However, the counselor explained that placing a baby through adoption meant giving a baby a home where it could receive all the blessings that we could not provide at this time, including being sealed to a worthy couple. But in my heart I could not accept this at that time. After all, the baby was my first grandchild. How could I allow this baby—my posterity—to go to another home? I was sure the Lord would bless our efforts if we sacrificed and did our very best to raise this child. Yes, there would be years of struggle, but I hoped that the day would come when my daughter would marry a worthy young man and be sealed to her child in the temple.
it's from the birth grandmother's point of view.
it sounds like this woman's experience with adoption is old school--moving the birth mom to a different home, never meeting the adoptive couple, not placing the baby in the adoptive couples arms herself ...things that i am very glad have changed over the last decade. for the most part, that is not how adoptions are done nowadays.
the mothers of birth mothers are very influential in the adoption process.
even though they do not have any legal right to the child, their passion for or against adoption is felt by everyone involved. (at least in my experience.)
according to LDS Family Services, the grandparents of the baby are one of the major reasons why babies are placed ...and also why they are not placed.
here's an especially thought-provoking part of the article:
At this point my own feelings were tender. How could I go through the months ahead at the side of my daughter, watch her give birth, and then not bring a baby home? However, the counselor explained that placing a baby through adoption meant giving a baby a home where it could receive all the blessings that we could not provide at this time, including being sealed to a worthy couple. But in my heart I could not accept this at that time. After all, the baby was my first grandchild. How could I allow this baby—my posterity—to go to another home? I was sure the Lord would bless our efforts if we sacrificed and did our very best to raise this child. Yes, there would be years of struggle, but I hoped that the day would come when my daughter would marry a worthy young man and be sealed to her child in the temple.
You did know that article was about me, right? My Mom wrote it...The Ensign did change it a bit after they bought the rights to it. Weird to read it all these years later.
ReplyDeleteGuess what? I got to meet the r house today! I felt like I was meeting a celebrity. =)
hahaha. and i felt like a celeb!
ReplyDeleteThank you again, it is so important that we share ALL aspects of adoption. It effects so many peoples lives, not just the birthparents, child and adoptive parents. Love it!
ReplyDeleteYour posts are great about adoption. I think you have been inspired. I really needed to here about letting yourself feel the whole process! Thanks for the encouragement.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you're posting every day this month about adoption. I miss being involved in it so much! I will never tire of hearing about people's experiences with adoption and hope to be working in it again one day soon. And by the way, I am so amazed at the perspective you have after all that you have been through--such wonderful advice you give to those going through the process. Have you ever thought of being an adoption caseworker? You would be truly amazing at it.
ReplyDelete-Kate